I’ve got the gPod crankin. It’s been crankin’ since about 5am this morning. I started out with the Peppers, moved on to some Alice in Chains, and just played some Three Doors Down and it hit me I’m in a funk. They have a song called Goin’ Down in Flames that seems fitting right now. Maybe it’s the post Nationals blues. Could be all the people that seem to be kickin’ off around me or are sick and ailing. I think it may just be me feeling mortal.
I can’t really put my finger on it. Maybe I feel a bit overwhelmed trying to get a new month started with Wing Side Up. This is a big one for sure. It’s Classic already. I’m way behind on updates for Anna. I don’t have guests lined up at all. We start a new contest Monday and I forgot to get all the audio to Opie and he leaves for some Voodoo infested island on Sunday, (oh trust me, I’ve already been bustin’ his ballz on that one!), so it may or may not get produced in time. I have no photos for any of the potential guests. I have no artwork for the theme. We have three new rejoins to get done, a new open and close billboard, two new commercials that need voiced, and as of this morning, no new bump music for the month. Oh let’s see, what else…Oh yeah the new laptop got left in Sandusky so all of my files for the cue sheet, open, advertising contracts, you name it, are all in limbo. Yes I had them backed up. Being the brainiac that I am, I had them on a flash drive….in the laptop bag.
I’m stressed over the fact that I don’t have the money to go get a passport and even if I did, the realization that it’s too late to get one in time for the ISMA show at Delaware. So do I risk it and try to get across and back, or do I ditch two more ISMA shows when I have a commitment to them? I’m wondering where the $50 is gonna come from for tomorrow nights Mr. Supermodified race and sick with the fact that I don’t have another $50 for the USUCK show mid week.
Shelby won’t be here for Classic, I haven’t talked to Sheldon in God knows how long, and I miss Taylor a lot. I’ve got guys fighting in SUPRS, I’m wondering if sympathy and get well cards have been sent, I haven’t been to the garage to work in forever-let alone have a hand on the new 99, and I need to weed the flower beds and garden. Black Betty has needed an oil change 3 times over now. The snow tires are still on her. She needs cleaned inside and out, and could use a wax job bad.
I’m still stressed over Nationals and I think that really is a big part of the reason I feel funky. I was one of the worst ever for me personally. I was way off my game in the food department. I kept burning quesadillas and couldn’t keep up. Saturday, the pork was frozen when I put it on nearly two hours after I should have. It was tough when I took it off and had it not been for Bernie stoking the fire all day and mopping it, it would have been completely inedible. It just wasn’t there this year and while outwardly things may have seemed good, it made me realize it’s time to re-evaluate what needs to be done to get camp back on track. I have some tough decisions to make, but I can’t keep at it like I have. There were a lot of people that helped all weekend long and I’m very greatful. But what a lot of people don’t see is the work that goes on before the party starts and the cleanup that happens when the last person leaves. I still have no idea how much money we raised, maybe if I would know that, it would make things seem better.
So a whole lot of complaining here isn’t it? I am not asking for sympathy or handouts. I am just writing to help clear my head. Stuff may seem bad, but I am thankful for a lot and I know it’s just a phase. So I’m waiting for the Hummingbird to come hang out on the feeder next to the Morning Glories and the Pansies, because I know it will be a reminder that my life is good and that I should stop worrying and moaning because I’ve got it easy compared to most. It will all work out, and as cliche’ as that sounds, I know it to be true. As much as I want to announce at The County this weekend, I’m very happy that I’ll be in the stands enjoying the show at Oswego. I miss being here because no matter where I go, there’s just no place like “The Lady in Grey.”
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